Last, just a piece of fun I wrote earlier this year....Enjoy!

Good idea...BAD idea..

The following is the end result of being a submissive for more years than I want to think about. These are taken pretty much from real life, sad to say--little life lessons and gems of wisdom for the newbie sub:

Good Idea: When ordered to, wear the damn butt plug.

BAD Idea: When wearing one, taking Mistress to the new go-kart track that opened just down the road. Bumps. Many, MANY bumps....

Good Idea: Recognize that Mistress is *not* a democracy, that you are instead living under a benevolent dictatorship at the bottom of the food chain.

BAD Idea: Attempt to grab Mistress's private parts and declare a socialist revolution by shouting "The workers shall control the means of reproduction!"

Good Idea: Even if your musical tastes differ, Mistress gets to pick what she wants to listen to on the radio.

BAD Idea: Declare that being forced to listen to the soundtrack to 'Saturday Night Fever' is against the Geneva Convention and must be appealed to Amnesty International.

Good Idea: When going swimming with Mistress, remember to play nice.

BAD Idea: Roll your eyes, mutter "The devil is in me!" and attempt to dunk Mistress.

Good Idea: Always serve Mistress's drinks with ice.

BAD Idea: Attempt to use Mistress's drink as a means of disposing of the dreaded ice dildoes in the freezer.

Good Idea: Suffer (or enjoy) bondage with grace.

BAD Idea: Start singing spirituals, banging a cup against the bars of the dungeon cage, and demanding to see one's lawyer.

Good Idea: Prepare Mistress's meals with all the culinary skills you possess.

BAD Idea: Prepare Mistress's meals as if you were the Swedish Chef. Bork bork bork!

Good Idea: Suffer punishment gladly, as it not only is a means of correction, but it arouses Mistress.

BAD idea: Reenact the death scene in "Braveheart" and scream "FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!" while being flogged.

BAD idea: Hide the pain-inducing toys.

BAD Idea: Saying "Go ahead, make my day."

BAD Idea: Ask if this whip comes in Nerf.

BAD Idea: Mention that Amnesty International won't take too kindly to this after the 'Disco Incident'.

Good Idea: When Mistress inserts a carrot where no carrot has been before, moan in pain/pleasure at the vegetable abuse and try not to think of how weird it is.

BAD idea: "Ehhhh....what's up Doc?"

Good Idea: Get on your knees like a good slave when Mistress beckons you to her side.

BAD Idea: Dropping down, and extending an arm up pointing overhead, and saying 'Look Boss.. da plane, da plane!' in a bad mexican accent

Good Idea: Remember Mistress is *always* right.

BAD idea: Mentioning rather gleefully the few times she's wrong.

Good idea: When driving for Mistress, realize that you may have to ask for directions.

BAD idea: Drive 20 miles out of the way waiting for that magical turn or sideroad that will put you where you want to be that you just KNOW has to be there, because turning around will be admitting defeat.
(yes that one applies to all men, really, vanilla or otherwise. Just that the consequences are more *severe* with a Mistress!)

Good Idea: Serenading Mistress can be a sweet and romantic surprise.

BAD Idea: Doing it with William Shatner's voice.

Good Idea: Remember Mistress has every right to expect service first thing in the morning.

BAD Idea: Growl and grumble and beat chest going "Me Neanderthal Man!" , refusing to serve one bit until that 4th cup of coffee kicks in.

You know, looking this over, it strikes me at how often I've done the 'Bad Idea' route. And I'm not even a masochist who *wants* to be punished. Which leads me to the last....

Good/Bad Idea: Having a devil in you will at least make things more interesting for you and your Mistress. :=)

This has been a Too Much Caffeine It Was A Funny Idea At The Time Production.